More Fun with Clichés!

I Would Have to Say That...

What?  Are you being tortured.  It’s not something I want to say, but it’s something I have to say!  Please don’t hit me again!  This entire phrase is pointless.  Whatever you are tempted to put it in front of – Don’t.  If you would have to say that you like beer, then just say, “I like beer.” 

And then there’s the whole problem with “would.”  Unless it introduces a question (Would you like an example?), the word “would” almost always implies what is technically known as a “but clause” – one T.  I would do this, but...  But something is keeping me from it. 

And that makes the above phrase even that much more sillier.  I would have to say that I like beer... but they... won’t... let... me!

First and Foremost...

First, and foremost, this is redundant.  If something is foremost, then it is first.  So you could just say foremost.  And if something is first and it is not foremost, then just say first and let the poor guy dream.  And, seriously, has anybody ever said, “Third, but foremost...”?

Seriously, how hard would it be to find somebody who knows English grammar... on a college campus, and just ask them, "Hey, does this look alright to you?" before you printed off hundreds of copies?