Even More Advertising Nonsense:  The Ultimate in Wi-Fi!

There is a cable company currently offering "the ultimate in wi-fi experience."  The "ultimate wi-fi experience" means that's it.  This is a far as it goes.  It's never getting better.  Yeah, it may be good now, but the one thing for certain about technology is that it advances.  Just look an any old television.  It was once cutting edge.  Now, you probably can't give it away.  So if that company is never improving, my advice is not to sign a long term contract.

Fun With Clichés:  I Couldn't Be Happier

Are you sure?  Do you really know your limits on happiness?  Like happiness can be measured?  And you've measured it?  "Well, Bob, I'd like to be happier, but that's as far as it goes." 

If you must use such a trite phrase as this, for McTibbet's sake, don't sell yourself short.  If, say, it's buying a new truck that you couldn't be happier about...  Boy, that doesn't say much for your wedding day, or the births of your children.

More Advertising Nonsense:  Almost 96%

In a recent ad, a company boasts that its product works in "Almost 96%" of all cases.  Pardon me, but what the Frazoont does that mean?  Isn't "almost 96%" simply 95%?  And if it is, then why not just say 95% percent?  It's not like there's that much difference between 95% and 96%... unless it's not 95%.  And that begs the question:  What does "almost" mean?  The dictionary definition is "not quite; very nearly."  But how near is "very nearly"?  After all, 94%, it could be argued, is "very nearly" 96%.  And if that's the case, then so could 93%, or 92, or 87.  It's not like the National Institute of Standards and Technology – the government organization that makes sure a pound is a pound, and a gallon is a gallon – actually has a standard definition for "almost."  And that makes it subjective.  And that means "almost" can be anything you want it to be. "Almost 96%," in reality, could be any number at all. 

"Trigger" Words for Fragmented Sentences

There are several words that are used almost exclusively to begin adverbial phrases, some of which are listed below. Mind you, there are a lot more than that, but these are the more common ones. As well, it is possible to start a sentence with one of those words without creating a fragment, but if you are really having trouble with fragments, simply don't start a sentence with any of these words.

Since
Because
Like
Almost
Until
Who
What
When
Where
Why
How
Which
That
Not

Almost every word ending in -ly

Almost any word ending in -ing

For more information on fragments, or, as we like to say, Fragments Made Easy, just follow that hyperlink.

An Observation:

Doing the right thing is easier if it doesn't cost you anything.