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OK.  First of all, anybody who corrects you on this really needs a hobby... well, a hobby other than grammar.  I recommend embalming.  It’s fun, challenging, and offers hours of entertainment, and since you’ve already bored everybody to death correcting their grammar, it gives you something to do with their bodies.

But if you really want to know...

Shall and Will are both used for the future tense.  Which you use depends on how much you really mean it, as well as who really means it.  Depending on which pronoun is being used, the whole thing can switch.  I mean, seriously.  You know the rule is ridiculous when the easiest way to show it is with a chart.  

 

Pronoun

When You’re Really Determined

When You’re Really Not

I

Will

Shall

We

Will

Shall

You

Shall

Will

He, She, It

Shall

Will

Don’t Care

Will

Will

 

So if I were really determined, I would say, “I will drive people crazy with my grammar!”  But if I were talking about how determined you were, I would say, “You shall embalm me if I do.” 

On the other hand, if I decided to spend my time lying around instead of worrying about ridiculous grammar rules, I’d say, “I shall get out of bed eventually.”   But if I were talking about Bob, I would say, “He will get up sooner or later.”

And, seriously, nobody should ever say “shan’t” without a British accent.