acquiesce: (verb) to agree; to comply; to assent. In
order for you to spend a night of debauchery with your friends, you first must acquiesce to their implorations.
acuity: (noun) insight; perspicacity; keenness. His
mental acuity was just about as sharp as a gunny sack full of wet mice.
ad hominem: (noun) an argument that appeals to emotions rather than intellect; attacking an opponent's
character rather than the actual argument. The candidate's entire campaign was ad hominem.
adjudicate: (verb) to referee; to arbitrate; to sit in judgment.
When enough camera angles finally confirmed the official’s original adjudication that the receiver was, indeed, out
of bounds, everybody on the field was surprised to find that all the fans had gone home several hours ago.
adjuration: (noun) an earnest request; a solemn oath. His adjuration to stop running around
with other women would've been more believable had he not been naked at the time.
ad
nauseam: (adv.) a reference
to something that has been done so often that it has become tiresome or annoying; something that has been continued to the
point of nausea. And now, for the ad nauseam part of the faculty meeting, I'd like to turn the podium over to the superintendent,
Dr. Noisome.
adroit: (adj.) nimble; dexterousness; skillful. We were
amazed at the cat’s adroitness until she fell off the sofa.
adulterate: (verb) to make something poorer in quality by adding
another typically poorer substance to it. True, the political system was rather janky to begin with, but it was further
adulterated with the election of the president.
adumbration: (noun) (pronounced: add-dumb-bray-shun)
foreshadowing; prefiguration; a sketchy, vague, or imperfect representation. The Congressman gave an adumbration of
the event, which didn't come as a surprise, because the Congressman was rather sketchy, too.
adventitious: (adj.) (pronounced: ad-ven-tish-ous) happening
by chance; fortuitous; serendipity. It was adventitious that your car broke down outside our castle. And what
a nice brain you have!
aegis: (noun) (pronounced: ee-gis) the protection, support, or backing of someone
or something (such as an organization); the dude who's got your back, so to speak. Just because you have the aegis of
Eddie Two Fingers don't mean we won't come for you. Well, actually, that's exactly what it does mean, but don't go gettin'
cocky, see?
aesthete: (noun) (pronounced: ass-theet) someone
who has, or pretends to have, a special appreciation of art and beauty. Carl calls himself an aesthete, but he couldn't
care less about art. He just likes to say "ass."
aestivation: (noun) (pronounced: ess-tah-vay-shun) the
opposite of hibernation; prolonged torpor during a hot or dry period. Hey, whadaya know? Larry's not aestivating
after all. He's dead.
affiance: (verb) to be engaged to be married. Once she was
affianced, Marla had to be constantly reminded that all of her wedding plans really needed to include Harold, too.
afflatus: (noun) a divine creative impulse or inspiration. Graham was considered a musical
genius by everyone who knew him, but because he got his afflatus from flatulence, he was doomed to a solo career.
aficionado: (noun) devotee; enthusiast; fan. She was
quite the aficionado of chocolate.
agglomerative: (adj.) gathered together in a cluster or a mass. At night, all the
zombies agglomerated in the church basement.
aggrandizement: (noun) puffery; overstatement; braggadocio. The
candidate's aggrandizement was not backed by those pesky little things commonly known as "facts."
aggrieved: (adj.) upset over not being treated fairly; hurt; angry.
The aggrieved citizens are outside the gates, m'lord. They are formerly requesting your head.
agita:
(noun) anxiety; stress; agitation. The news is one agita I can do without.
ague: (noun) (pronounced: ay-gyoo) an illness involving
shivering a fever, usually malaria. Well, you got the ague, you do, but I don't know what to do.
aigrette: (noun) (pronounced: ay-gret, like egret with an "a") a
headdress made from white egret feathers, and possibly other stuff, like gems. Aigrettes were very popular in the the
1920s... until they all but extirpated all the egrets.
ailurophile: (noun) (pronounced: ay-lure-oh-file) a cat
lover. I did not say I was an ailurophobe. I said I was an ailurophile. I'm a grimalkin, for crying out
loud. I love cats. I don't hate them. Get your suffixes straight.
akimbo: (adj.) a body position with the hands on the hips and the elbows extending outward.
From atop of the Marciano Tower, Masked Crime Fighter Guy stood akimbo with the sun setting to his back and
his cape flapping in the breeze: All was safe
in Megatropolis.
alacrity: (noun; pronounced al-lack-ra-tee) eagerness; enthusiasm; promptness; brisk and cheerful
readiness. He responded with alacrity at the opportunity to judge the Swedish all-nude beauty contest. I mean,
really let’s just cut to the chase. There’s only one talent we’re interested in, anyway. I mean,
comon! We’re guys! What? The mic's on?
albedo: (noun) the light reflected off a surface, usually that of a planet or moon, measured
on a scale of zero to one, zero being completely non-reflective (such as black), and one being completely reflective (such
as a mirror). Sir, we're going to have to ask you to put on your hat. The albedo off your head is disturbing the
other fans.
aleck: (noun) a stupid person. How is it even remotely
possible to be a smart aleck?
algid: (adj.) cold. I'm afraid all we have to eat is algae.
Would you like your algae algid?
alienist: (noun) a psychiatrist. An alien, trapped on earth,
would undoubtedly need help from an alienist.
alimentive: (adj.) the propensity to seek food; the instinct of appetite.
By some, being able to find a McDonald's would be considered alimentive.
allay: (verb) to dispel; to calm; to alleviate; to assuage. Had she not been holding
a gun, her attempts to allay his fears that she wouldn't harm him for his countless assignations would've been far more effective.
amalgamate: (verb) to combine into an unified or integrated
whole; to unite. The various local unions amalgamated into one, equally ineffective union.
amative: (adj.) inclined toward love, especially sexual; referring
to the instinct to reproduce; amourous; horny. I was amative, but, woe, she feigned a headache.
ambivalent: (adj.) unsure; undecided; hesitant. We were
ambivalent about which restaurant to eat in, mostly because we just didn’t care.
ambuscade: (verb) (pronounced: am-bus-cade) to ambush
somebody. As the posse came up the canyon, they were ambuscaded by the outlaws.
ameliorate: (verb) improve; revolutionize; rearrange. The stewardess
was surprised that nobody took her up on the offer to ameliorate their seats.
amenable: (adj.)
(pronounced: ah-mean-ah-bull) suited; favorably disposed; willing. It was an amenable decision. Carl
wouldn't drink in the bikers' bar, and the bikers wouldn't beat the living hell out of Carl.
amicable: (adj.) good-natured; friendly; harmonious. I'm
sorry, but I don't want to date you. However, I'd still like to be amicable.
amity: (noun) a friendly relationship. Since we're neighbors
and all, why not go ahead and call it an amity? Heck, we can even name the town that: Amityville. What could
be so horrible about that?
amok: (noun) (also: amuck; originally from the Malaysian culture) a violent assault
on many by an individual after a period of brooding. After all those days just staring at the chickens, we should've
known it was only a matter of time before Rex ran amok in the henhouse.
amorphous: (adj.) (pronounced: ah-mor-fuss) formless; vague; unstructured; nebulous.
We were all relieved when the amorphous shapes in the fog turned out to be just normal, run-of-the-mill ghosts, and not ghost
pirates.
anathema: (noun) a thing accursed or devoted to evil. An anathema from hell lives next door.
Really, he’s not a bad neighbor. He keeps his lawn watered.
anathematize: (verb) (pronounced: ah-neth-ah-ma-tize)
to curse; to condemn. Little Billy, with still a lot to learn about religion, was told that he shouldn't anathematize
the entire fifth grade simply because they got to go to recess before the third grade.
anatomize: (verb) (pronounced: ah-nat-ah-mize) to analyze
something in minute detail; to dissect; to study the structure. Before we could fix the car, we first had to anatomize
the engine.
anastomosis: (noun) (pronounced: ah-nas-tah-moe-sis) a
connection or opening between two things; most often used medically, such as with a connection between two blood vessels,
or when they reconnect separated bowels and the like. The plans call for us to remove this wall, and then will have
an anastomosis between the rooms.
anechoic: (adj.) echo-free; without an echo. It took Carl
nearly an hour of yelling, "Echo!" into the canyon before he realized the canyon was anechoic.
angularity: (noun) the quality of being angular; having an angular
outline or sharp corners. No, my dear. When I spoke of the angularity of your heart it should not have been perceived
as a compliment.
animus: (noun) hostility; ill-feeling; the motivation to do something. There are few people
who don't feel animus toward the president.
anodyne: (adj.) soothing; relaxing; analgesic. The anodyne
sounds of the carolers made Bob realize the true meaning of the Holiday Season, and from there on out he was determined to
put the "X" back in "Xmas."
anomaly: (noun) abnormality; glitch; incongruity. The
ghost was seen as an anomaly, so we ignored it. If it doesn’t want to stay dead, that shouldn’t be our concern.
antediluvian: (adj.) before the ancient Biblical flood; prehistoric;
ancient; primeval. Referring to your grandfather as "antediluvian" not only shows that you have an impressive
vocabulary, but that you have an equally impressive lack of good taste.
anthropofelinism: (noun) to give humans cat characteristics. Fluffy,
my friend, you’re a great cat, but thinking that when you scratch the furniture you can hear the humans purr is
just anthropofelinistic.
anthropomorphism: (noun) to give human characteristics to animals or inanimate
objects. I know it’s anthropomorphistic to think my cat has human characteristics, but what do you suppose the
word is that cats use when they give people cat characteristics?
antiphon: (noun) a short
sentence sung or recited as part of religious service, and often answered by the parishioners. "I will sing my
antiphon, and you will answer." "Yes, we will." "Amen."
antipodal: (adj.) something on the other side of the earth (or whatever planet you happen to be
on); diametrically opposed to something. Oh, Karl? Never mind him. He's antipodal about being antipodal.
antiquary: (noun) an antiquarian; someone who studies or collects
antiques; someone who enjoys antiqueing. I'd say owning an antique shop is more of a hobby than a business. It's
just a bunch of antiquaries trading old junk back and forth.
antiquated: (adj.) old, outdated, archaic. Some day, CDs will be antiquated, too.
antsy: (adj.) agitated; impatient; anxious. You're not
getting down my pants, see? So stop getting so antsy.
apex: (noun) the top or highest point of something, especially
when it forms a peak. It was only when we reached the apex of the summit that we realized going back down was probably
going to be much harder than it was to come up in the first place.
aphorism: (noun) saying; maxim; adage; cliché. The
maxim I live by is not to base my actions on aphorisms.
apiary: (noun) also known as a bee yard, it is the place where an apiarist keeps her
beehive. There was a sign that warned the kids not to play hide-and-seek in the apiary.
aplomb: (noun) assurance; composure; style; cool (as in Joe). You must have a modicum
of aplomb if your job is defusing bombs.
apocryphal: (adj.) of questionable authenticity; counterfeit; untrue. The Apocrypha is not
part of the canonized bible because of its apocryphal origin.
apoplectic: (adj.; pronounced ap-poe-plec-tic) extremely indignant;
really pissed. Carl was apoplectic when he discovered they had canceled “America’s Most Wanted’s Got
Talent.”
apostate: (noun) one who is guilty of apostasy; a person who denounces a religious belief or principle.
Just because we're all apostates doesn't mean we still don't continue going to church. The only difference is that we
have to sit in the apostate pews.
apostrophize:
(verb) (or, if you're British, apostrophise) to use an apostrophe, either in speech (by inflection) or in writing (with
punctuation!) Oh! There you go! Apostrophizing again, I see!
apothegm: (noun) (pronounced: app-ah-them) a concise saying;
a maxim; an aphorism. If telling somebody who has just been dumped that it's better than not to have been loved at all
is the best apothegm you can come up with, then just keep quiet.
apotheosis: (noun) the culmination or climax. There, standing
on the bridge with the cement hardening around my feet, I realized we'd reached the apotheosis of our relationship.
apotropaic: (adj.) (pronounced: app-po-tra-pay-ick) supposedly
having the power to avert evil influence or bad luck. If a rabbit's foot were apotropaic, then rabbits should be the
luckiest animals on the earth.
apparatchik: (noun) (pronounced: ah-pah-raht-chik) a member of the Communist
party (Russian); any blindly devoted official or follower of a political party or other organization. They may all be
apparatchiks, but as long as they are fervently opposed to Communism, who cares?
apparate: (verb)
to appear magically; to vanish from one place and appear in another. You misunderstand, Martin. I don't want you
to apparate. I just want you to go away.
appertain: (verb) to relate; to belong; to be associated with.
If you cannot appertain to your being insane, then please refrain from calling on us again.
appetency: (noun) (pronounced: ap-pen-ten-see) a longing
or desire. If you could only see my appetency for thee.
apportion: (verb) to divide
and allocate; to make a proportionate division, usually according to a plan. Having seen the word "apportioned"
on license plates for many years, it occurred to me the other day that I had no idea what that actually meant. So now
I know. Commercial vehicles often operate in several taxable jurisdictions, such as across state lines, or even county
lines, and each of those jurisdictions want their share of the taxes. Based on how much that vehicle is in any given
place, a portion of the taxes it pays is apportioned to those various places.
apposite: (adj.) pertinent; apt; appropriate; relevant. It
is always apposite to do the opposite of anything Brick tells us to do, especially when he calls from prison.
apprise: (verb) to make aware. Be apprised that the
train will be leaving in ten minutes.
approbation: (noun) esteem; approval; consent. When
she did not give her approbation for his marriage proposal on the video board at the football game, he felt rather foolish,
especially since he had knelt on a half-eaten hotdog.
appurtenance: (noun) (pronounced: app-purr-ten-ance) an
accessory or other item associated with a particular activity or style of living. Grandma, if you're going to be a grimalkin,
some of your appurtenances are going to have to be cats. There's no way around it.
a
priori: (adj.) (pronounced:
a-pri-or-eye) reasoning or knowledge that comes from theoretical deduction rather than observation or experience.
Bob concluded a priori that a tiger would make a good pet because they are related to house cats, and he knew house cats were
safe, loving creatures who enjoyed humans... just not as a snack.
apropos: (adj.) (pronounced ap-pro-po, darn the French)
appropriate; pertinent; germane; fitting. It was apropos that Murray found his asthma inhaler in his cabin, right before
the ship sank beneath the waves.
aquiline: (adj.) like an eagle, especially in reference to one's nose.
If you can get past his aquiline beak, he really is a quite attractive guy.
arabesque: (noun) (pronounced air-ah-besk) a ballet stance;
a type of flowing design found often in Arabic designs. Doing an arabesque was not what I had in mind when I asked if
I could dance with you.
arcana: (noun) (pronounced: are-cane-ah) secrets;
mysteries. We searched all afternoon for the arcana of life, and when we didn't find it, we went to the bar, only to
find out it was there all along.
arcania: (noun) that which is arcane; that which is esoteric,
hidden, or mysterious. That's Professor Ingersol; he teaches arcania. What, exactly, that is, we haven't a clue.
archaic: (adj.) old, outdated, antiquated. Eight track tapes are now considered archaic.
arduous: (adj.) tough; grueling; labourious. After spending
an arduous three days in the car, the family finally reached the resort.
areal: (adj.) not to be confused with "aerial" (which means of or relating to the
air), areal refers to an area (usually large) of land, air, or both. The hurricane caused areal flooding throughout
the South.
argent: (adj.) silvery white; silver. (proper noun) a British rock group formed
by Ken Argent (formerly of the Zombies – the group, not the undead) and best known for their one big hit, "Hold Your Head Up." No, my hair is not gray. It is argent. So there!
argle-bargle: (noun) copious but meaningless talk or writing;
nonsense. The Senator's speech, which lasted well into the early hours of the morning, was an excellent example of argle-bargle.
argosy: (noun) a large merchant ship, or a fleet of merchant
ships; a large amount of anything. Without an argosy of good luck, are chances of success are slim.
argot: jargon; slang; vernacular; patois. The local argot was apparently to simply say, “Uh
huh,” to every question after staring ahead for an unusually long time while scratching.
aridity: (noun)
dryness; drought; barrenness; infertility. Notice this right here? That's what we call "aridity."
For these fish to do well in your aquarium, you're gonna need some water.
arrant: (adj.) outright; unmitigated; utter. He really hadn’t expected that she
would use her knee in such an unladylike fashion in response to his arrant lie.
arriviste: (noun) (pronounced: arr-ee-veest) a ruthlessly
self-seeking person, especially one who has just come into money or power, not that there's much difference between the two;
a social climber. Now that Mavis has a double-wide, she's acting quite the arriviste.
ascetic: (noun) severe self-discipline and abstention from all forms of indulgence and generally
having a good time, usually for religious purposes. You can admire Harold for being an ascetic if you want, but I think
he's an idiot. I've read the Bible, and nowhere in it does it say you can't have a good time, at least once in a while.
ascribe: (verb) to attribute something to a cause. Bob
ascribed his sense of general worthlessness on the fact that he did not have a hobby.
a shambles: (adj.) mess; disorder; chaos; confusion. (this word can be either plural or singular;
from the old usage of a slaughterhouse) After the cow rebellion, the slaughterhouse was all a shambles.
asinine: (adj.) idiotic; stupid; dim. The teacher came off
being rather asinine when she scolded the student for using inappropriate language when he said, “Asinine.”
asperity: (noun) harshness of tone or manner; harsh qualities or
conditions; a rough edge on a surface. They took his asinine asperities as an aspersion on their mettle.
aspersion: (noun) calumny; slur; slander. I and my lawyer
hope you have no aspirations toward aspersions.
aspirational: (adj.) that to which one aspires; wishful thinking. To think that Mary Ann is
ever going out with you is aspirational, to say the least. Actually, saying nothing at all would be to say the least,
but what's the fun in that?
assentation: (noun) the practice of assenting readily, especially
obsequiously or insincerely. The boys all showed assentation when they said they were going straight home after the
movies.
asseveration: (pronounced: ass-sav-ver-ay-tion) the solemn or
earnest declaration of something. Don's asseveration of his love for his wife would've been more convincing had he not
been in bed with another woman at the time.
assiduity: (noun) (pronounced: ass-id-doo-ah-tee) constant attentions
to someone. Yes, my dear. Your assiduities have been duly noted, but they shall not conclude with connubial favours.
So back off!
assiduous: (adj.) diligent; persevering; industrious; indefatigable.
Saying the ants were assiduous was fairly redundant.
assignat: (noun) a monetary note issued by the French government
during the French Revolution, from 1789 to 1796; its security was based on confiscated land; any worthless monetary unit.
If I must pay for my assignation, then I hope you have change for assignats.
assignation:
(noun) an appointment to meet someone in secret, typically one made by lovers. He had to be daft to keep his assignation
in the same bed where her husband lay snoring, but he showed deference to her request.
assort: (verb) to place into groups; to classify. Oh, Larry?
He went out to assort all the neighbors. He should be back in a little while.
astute: (adj.) of keen penetration or discernment; sagacious;
shrewd. Her astute judgment was that it was probably better to fly than drive for their family vacation.
atavism: (noun) the recurrence of an ancestral trait. I
suppose it was a matter of time before his atavism became obvious. After all, insanity runs in the family.
atelier: (noun) (pronounced: at-tell-ee-ay) a workshop
or studio, especially for artists. It's not a mancave. It's an atelier. I don't just drink beer in my atelier,
but I do it artistically. And that makes all the difference.
athwart: (adj.) crossway; transversely; from corner to corner.
The bishop moved athwart across the chess board, knocking over the pieces as he went.
atomy: (noun) (pronounced: ad-ah-me) a skeleton;
an emaciated body. Yes, sweetheart. Being thin is fashionable, but atomy is not.
attenuate: (verb) to weaken; to reduce; to diminish. After
much legislation, the group managed to attenuate all laws that had anything at all to do with limiting who could own an assault
rifle.
atwitter: (adj.) being in a state of nervous excitement.
The birds were all atwitter because they’d been twittering on Twitter.
au
courant: (adj.) (pronounced: oh-coor-aunt) well informed;
in the know. It's always a bit of a puzzlement when the media is not au courant.
audacity:
(adj.) brazen; daring; overconfidence. Why! The audacity! To eructate before the Queen!
augury: (noun) divination; forecasting; prognostication; a sign of what will happen in the future.
Her augury is quite uncanny. How did she know the sun would rise this morning!
auspicate:
(verb) to indicate in advance,
as if by omen; to tell the future; to portend; to augur. My mother auspicated days like this. Her auspicatory
abilities were amazing.
austere: (adj.) severe; strict; stern; sober. Everybody
demanded austerity out of the government’s finances until the government actually did it.
austral: (adj.) relating to the Southern Hemisphere. Well, yes. I suppose that is
why they call it Australia, because it is austral.
auteur: (noun) (pronounced: oh-ter) usually
the director of a movie (but it can apply to other media) who has such influence over the outcome of the film that he or she
is considered the "author." Stanley Kubrick is seen as many as an auteur, especially when it comes to a movie
like The Shining, which would've probably been just another silly Steven King movie if done by anybody else.
autodidacticism: (noun) the process of being self-taught. Being an autodidact, she taught herself to be didactic.
autogolpe: (noun) (pronounced: auto-gol-pay, or auto-hol-pay
– "golpe" is Spanish for "coup") a self-coup; a coup d'état; specifically where a leader
who is brought to power by legal means dissolves the mechanisms that brought her or him to power and seizes control.
Claiming that the elections were false, the president staged an autogolpe and announced he was not leaving office. Claiming
that the president was completely out of line, the citizens dragged him out of his office and simply laughed at him until
he went away.
avaricious: (adj.) greedy; avid; rapacious. I don't care if
it is a buffet. Don't be so avaricious. You can always come back for seconds... but be sure to use a clean plate.
aver: (verb) avow; state; claim. By the Beard of McTibbet,
I aver that I shall be avenged! Or whatever.
avidity: greed; eagerness; voracity; covetousness. And remember,
my son, your avidity is a hell-worthy offense. Now go forth and sin no more.
avoirdupois: (noun) (pronounced aver-du-poyze) a system of weights
– 16 ounces to a pound – commonly used in English speaking countries, even though it is a French term meaning
"to have peas," which doesn't make any sense either, but, hey, it's the French) That's 2.99 a pound, but not
just any pound. I'm talking avoirdupois here, and you'd better be, too, because this is America!
avuncular: (adj.) kindly; benign; friendly. We couldn't tell
if the old man was being avuncular, or if he was just a pervert.
axiomatic: (adj.) obvious; self-evident; accepted; manifest. It is always a mistake to assume
your assumptions are axiomatic.
ayahuasca: (noun) (pronounced eye-wass-ka) a tropical vine
native of Amazonia, as well as the hallucinogenic drink made from the bark of that vine. Let us retire to the study,
where we shall enjoy a fine cigar, aged brandy, and trip balls with ayahuasca.
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