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Friday, April 3, 2009
Get to Work!
Some of the writers here at HGP, who we don't need to name, claim
that when they're off on a creative tangent -- they're excuse for the writing they actually get paid to do -- they
are less focused on writing for the HGP. Personally, I think they're faking.
12:44 pm pdt
Chip Tease
You know what really turds me off? A chip teaser. You know the
guy. They eat the last of the chips but don't do the chip trough thing -- you know, where you make the bag into
a trough so you can herd every last crumb into your mouth. No. They don't do that. They pinch out all
they can and then stop. And they don't throw the bag away. So you come along and you see the bag. And
you're thinkin', "I wonder..." So you look inside, and you think, "Hmmmm. I wonder
if there's enough there for a chip trough..." So you try it. But there's not. Aughhhh!
That's almost as bad as drinking the last beer. Just thought you'd like to know
12:41 pm pdt
Thursday, April 2, 2009
Let's Go Consuming!
Do you suppose so many girls would say that their hobby was shopping if
it were called consuming? "Oh, I love to consume!" "Let's go to the mall and consume!"
"Consuming is so much fun!" "I just love to get my daddy's credit card so I can go consume!"
"Come on, everybody, we're going to the Consuming Mall. It's right next to the Consuming Center."
"We're doing our Holiday Consuming." "Have you consumed for mom yet?" "Consume 'til
you drop!" Consume until we all drop.
And on a similiar thought, if consuming makes us happy, how much
is it that we need to consume to be truly happy? It's important to know. Otherwise, how can you truly know
when you're happy. "Oh... wait... there's one more sweater in the bottom of my bag. That makes 13.
Yes! I'm happy now."
10:40 am pdt
Monday, March 30, 2009
The Computer ClubBobby: Ummm,
yeah. We’ve created a rift in the space/time continuum by bending light in on itself. Thomas: It’s really not that hard to do. Cameron: They sell everything
you need at Radio Shack. Eugene: Yeah,
and you see, we were able to create a worm hole... Bobby: That
allowed us to go anywhere in space and time... Cameron:
So we could look in on the girls’ locker room.
Eugene:
And they didn’t even know it. Thomas: And
it’s cheaper than TVo. Eugene: But
it messed with the reception on the TV... Bobby: So
we had to get rid of it. Cameron: Yeah.
Saints Be TrueThis was written by Seamus
O’Hannerty. It has a tune that we’re all trying to forget. We all thought
Seamus was related to somebody here at HGP. Come to find out, he was just sleeping off his St. Patrick’s
day celebration. He left us this song to pay for our hospitality. Money probably would’ve
worked better.
Saints be True
Ah, Saints
be true,
for if they’re
not whatever shall we do? To
give our prayers to
nothin’ but air... ‘twould
be the fun in that? Ah, but to know it’s right when sun comes to night. Ay, I can drink to that.
And if the Saints true then maybe me, and hopefully you Will look St. Peter right in the eye And with a smile we’ll say we’ve come an awful long way How about sharin’ what we
know you have And he
well. Ah, Saints be true. For me, and you. And a long life too love to see you through.
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