What if the guys who originally named all the constellations had been perverts?

I knew this guy... a guy named Oliver.  Grew up with him.  So he got drafted.  They made him join the Army.  They were going to send him to war.  They were going to send him to this hell of a backwater where he’d probably get blown all to pieces all over some piece of ground that nobody truly cared about, much less him.  Understandably he was reluctant to go.  So he comes up with this scheme.  He starts telling everybody that he is God.  Not an angel or a prophet or some relative, but God the Almighty.  You want to know what happened?  They believed him.  They really did.  Guys were coming around to his tent and confessing their sins.  They gave him the chapel on Sundays.  Even the General got his blessing.  I mean, they really believed it.  But they made him go anyway.  He came back unscratched.  You know... a thing like that... it has to mess with you.  Just a little bit, I’d think.  But it has to.