DNA My Way

I always believed that I was related to George Washington Carver, the famous Black inventor.  And together we shared relatives who lived for centuries deep in the Congo before being sold into slavery.  Motumba!  And then I had my DNA tested.  They said I wasn't related to George Washington Carver at all.  They said I wasn't even Black.  They said my relatives all came from Norway.  Then I found DNA My Way^TM.  With DNA My Way, there are no tests to take or forms to fill out.  With DNA My Way you just tell them where you want to be from and who you want to be related to, and they'll do the rest.  With DNA My Way, not only am I related to George Washington Carver, but I'm also related to Sitting Bull.  And Ghandi!  DNA My Way:  Because nobody really cares.