You know the poem:  Here I sit / all broken hearted, / come to shit / but only farted.  Yeah.  That was mine.  I wrote it.  I mean... what?  You think it was always there?  Somebody had to write it.  The single most recognized poem in the entire world, and I wrote it.  But nobody knows who I am.  I’m... My name is Vincent Nelson.  So now you know.

Editor’s Note:  In keeping with our policy not to use names, the above named has been changed.