Even though many years have passed since New Orleans was laid to waste, our government has yet to respond with an appropriate plan that will make our costal towns safe from the weather.  And next time, it might be a town that we truly care about.

Therefore, I have come up with a solution that will ultimately make every coastal town safe from hurricanes.  And I suggest that we first implement this plan on New Orleans, since God seems so intent on killing off that immoral pit of pestilence. 

What I propose is so simple it is elegant.  My plan is to put the entire city on giant train rails, and then, whenever a particularly ominous storm is approaching, we just back the entire city up 30 or 40 miles.  Most hurricanes lose their punch after thirty miles of Louisiana.  Fact is, most other things do, too. 

And it’s not like you wouldn’t have warning.  They usually know a couple of days before any of those Hurricanes are anywhere close to coming ashore.  Even if the entire city could only chug along at one mile per hour, we could still be half way to the Mississippi border before the wind even started to kick up.

I realize that there might be folks living out there that might object to an entire city running over their property.  But there aren’t many, and after all, doesn’t every American have the God-given right to complain? 

An additional bonus is that we would create jobs building what I would like to call the Inter-Coastal Rail System, or ICRS for short.  This is a system of massive rails that would eventually be able to move every coastal town into the heart of our great country at the slightest threat of danger.  Similar technology might even be feasible out west, where we could move entire communities away from forest fires.

In a related issue, I would like to propose naming all future hurricanes after biblical characters instead of random people’s names.  I offer you this simple reasoning.  Who will name their child Katrina ever again?  And what about those poor children who happened to be named Katrina?  What if the next Katrina was named Justin?  Or McKenzie.  Or Leonard.  Now consider your biblical names.  Nobody’s going to name anybody Nebuchadnezzar ever again.  As well, it would be an excellent way to teach our little ones just a little bit of bible history.  And that can’t be bad.