The Zombie Apocalypse!
According to calculations derived in
co-research by HGP’s Dr. Ivan Tupidsay and Mandrake Chapman, all life as we know it will come to an end at 2:22.22.22
a.m., on February 2nd, 2222 (GMT -8 Western Standard Time). It will
occur as a ripple that circles the entire globe, beginning in Greenwich, England, and affecting each time zone as it passes
through. The alignment of the number 2 will cause a cosmic readjustment of the ying and the yang, the see and the saw,
the obla dee and the obla dah, resulting in a polarity shift of all that exists. Simply put, positive will become negative,
night will become day, good will become evil. For most things, this will not cause any noticeable difference.
There will be, perhaps, a slight flicker if you happen to be holding a flashlight at the time. However, for one thing
in particular there will be a very noticeable change. Everything that has ever been dead will come back to life.
Yup, Zombies. That mosquito you just squashed… it’s back. That raccoon you ran over in 1983?
It’s back. And it doesn’t care if it were an accident or not. Gramma? She’s back.
Did you really spend enough quality time when you had the chance?
Sure, it’s over 200 years from now. It would be easy to blow off.
Easy to ignore. But we here at HGP feel that it’s never too early to start planning.
After all, time goes by quickly when you’re dead. You might be crossing the street today and
look up from your cell phone to see the word MACK two inches from your face. And then, the next thing you
know, you’re clawing at the lid of your coffin, and the only thought going through your shriveled mind is... Brains!
Therefore, because there is always profit in other people's suffering, the Holy Grail Press
offers you the following:
How to Survive the Zombie Apocalypse
The Kleinsmith-Füentermann Effect
Poster and Program from the Play
Another
Day... Still no zombies...
