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The Porn Actor

Ah, yeah, I mean, it really ain’t no big thing.  I mean, I really wouldn’t call me a porn star.  I’ve been in some fairly big movies, and I’ve worked with some really big – I mean big – names.  And I must admit, they were good.  And, you know, you’re setting there watching them and it dawns on you:  You’re never going to be that good.  That Little Engine that Said He Could malarkey aside, it’s time to face facts.  They have something more than I will ever have.  I mean, they could really act.  No kiddin’.  Hell, half the time they were making up the script as they went, and it made sense.  And it was better.  They could’ve done straight TV.  Seriously.  But, you see, I know I’m good enough.  I’m good enough to work B movies for the rest of my life.  I could probably even eventually move behind the camera.  Do stunts.  It’s a career.  And that’s good.  But I’m never going to be great.  But you really want to know the worst of it all?  When I’m walking down the road, you see, and I see this complete babe.  Oh, you know what I mean.  And she sizes me up.  And she’s got this attitude that just dares me.  You know what I mean.  And there’s nothing.  There’s no desire at all.