In the Spring of 2050, MacroSoft Industries introduced what they called the ultimate in hands-free technology for personal communication devices when they combined ear-mounted phones with voice recognition technology.  If you were riding a bicycle, for instance, and you wanted to call your mother, you would first activate the device with a pre-programmed word (such as “phone”), and then with another pre-programmed word (such as “mom”)  you could “speed dial” your mother. 

To avoid accidentally activating and then dialing the phone, it was recommended that users choose words or sounds they wouldn’t normally say in conversation.  In what sociologists concluded was “just plain strange,” everybody, without exception, chose some sort of animal noises.  For instance, an individual could have a rooster crowing to be her activation signal, and then in order to call her best friend, she would simply meow.

Chaos followed.  Of the millions of cell phone users, there simply weren’t enough animals to go around.  Somebody “barking” into his device might accidently speed dial your mother, who might not understand why you’re having that particular conversation at all.  As well, public places, such as bus stations, amusement parks, and zoos often sounded more like a zoo than the actual zoo.  And then there was the whole problem of having to explain to your best friend why her speed dial animal is a pig.  Said one young man from New York, “It just got silly.” 

Within a billing cycle, there weren’t enough cell phone customers left to keep any cellular company in business.  Everybody reverted back to what were once known at “land line” telephones.  Summarizing the attitudes of just about everybody, Amos Gossett of Sedro-Woolley, Washington, stated, “It’s really nice to be able to leave all that junk at home, and to actually have a phone ring instead of somebody barking at you.”