Let’s face it, August is rather devoid of meaningful holidays.  Not to put down such important holidays as National Watermelon Day on the 3^rd, Wiggle Your Toes Day on the 6^th, or National Dog Day, which shares the 26^th with National Women’s Equality Day.  But by “meaningful,” we mean days that you actually get off work for, like Labor Day, or a holiday that at least gives us yet another reason to drink, like St. Patrick’s Day, the Fourth of July, or... well, pretty much every holiday.  (August 2014)  So here at HGP we’ve chosen National Tell a Joke Day on August 16 as our candidate for the next Federal Holiday.

There is scant evidence anywhere that this is actually a holiday.  Nobody seems to know who created it or when it first was celebrated.  It has no national proclamations, and no one gets the day off... yet.  (International Tell A Joke Day!) And aside from a few opportunistic online greeting cards, (National Tell A Joke Day) nobody does anything for this holiday... except tell jokes.  But here at the Press, we happen to be big fans of jokes.  So here’s our official joke for National Tell a Joke Day: 

A duck without a bill walks into a rhinoplasty clinic and asks the receptionist, “Do you do same day surgery?”  To which she answers, “No.”  “That’s OK,” says the duck.  “You can bill me later.”