Unicycle Bob was the most amazing circus act
that I have ever seen.
Unicycle Bob couldn't ride the unicycle for squat.
I mean, he could hold his balance most of the time,
but he was always running into things.

Come to find out,
Unicycle Bob was just this guy from my home town
who didn't even travel with the circus.
I think he was an investment banker or something as equally exciting.
He just wanted to be in the circus,
if only once.
So he talked the circus owner into letting him ride his unicycle
on a tight rope
over the lion cages
with no net.
What did the owner have to lose?

I must've been all of eleven,
sitting there in the stands.
And here comes Unicycle Bob,
wearing a bright yellow shirt
and a yellow derby hat.
Where do you get yellow derby hats?
So Bob climbs up on the pole with his red unicycle.
He must've been fifty feet off the ground,
and below him all these lions are starting to take notice.

Well, Bob bows to the crowd after the big introduction,
and everyone goes quiet,
except for the lions;
they were really getting into the show.
And then the drum roll starts
and right on cue Bob takes off.

He actually made it about two feet
before he fell head first into the lion cage.
It really didn't matter if the fall would've done Bob in.

That was pretty much the circus for that Saturday afternoon.

I can't help but think Bob would've been better off
if he'd learned to juggle torches,
or maybe if he'd learned to ride the unicycle better,
but I guess we'll never know.

November 2001