I breed and sell rattlesnakes.  Mostly diamondbacks, but we got masagas and sidewinders, too.  You’d be surprised who wants a rattlesnake.  Petting zoos, politicians, religious folk.  We’re on the Internet, you know.  www dot poisonous snake distribution and procurement center of the greater southeast dot com.  We sell them by the foot.  Money back guarantee if they won’t rattle or strike or otherwise put your life in danger.  To this day we have yet to have a dissatisfied costumer.  I can’t speak for the snakes though.  I suppose bein’ in a cage would have its advantages, what with regular meals and all.  It’s hard to ship a rattlesnake across the United Sates, you know.  Do you know there are actually laws prohibiting the retail sale of poisonous snakes in 17 states and the Unincorporated Territory of the United States Virgin Islands?  But that doesn’t stop us.  We have distribution centers.  It’s not illegal to cross state lines with a rattlesnake if you purchased it legally in another jurisdiction.  And here’s somethin’ I bet you didn’t know:  Every snake we sell is bred in captivity.  And that’s a fact.  Did you know it’s technically against the law to use a wild snake in the course of any business?  That there’s Federal.  It’s not hard to breed rattlesnakes, you know.  It’s not like they need mood music or candlelight, but they don’t seem to mind it, either.  The only thing is, the female carries the eggs, so it’s not like they really lay eggs at all.  Why, on the big ones, it’s hard to tell they’re even expectin’.  One day there are all these baby snakes just everywhere.  Those little ones... they really need to be in a glass cage.  I learned that the hard way.  The thing about being in sales, you never know when someone might be interested in purchasing a rattlesnake.  That’s why I never go anywhere without my sample case.  I just have a couple of the smaller ones, but they can you a good idea of what we offer.  Well, whadaya know?  I wonder where those two have got off to.