After planning all week to rob 7-11,
the whole idea was given up
since no one in the Secret Society of Spies
knew anyone who could fly a helicopter.
So they decided instead
to be the first kids ever
to put a grasshopper into outer space,
which would be easier than robbing 7-11,
except maybe for making the rocket.

The tin can capsule looked pretty good,
except the cardboard fins were kind of crooked,
and the nosecone kept falling off
every time the astronaut hopped against it,
so Mike Maloney taped him to the bottom.
Then everyone went around to each other's houses
and poured any and everything
that just might happen to be flammable
into an empty Clorox bottle.

Mike said their launch pad
didn't look like how it was done on TV,
but Kevin told him it would surely work,
and would probably be the way
they'd be doing it in the future.

Billy lit the kite string fuse,
but they had to blow it out and do it over again
because they forgot the countdown,
and when the flame finally reached the Clorox bottle
everything just caught on fire.
Everybody starting running around
not knowing what to do
with the bottle melting like ice cream
and the fire rolling across the lawn.

Suddenly Billy's father came out of nowhere
with the garden hose and an old blanket,
and he beat the fire like crazy
until only a charred spot remained.
Eddy Engels went running home,
and Kevin and Mike suddenly had to go home, too,
but Billy's mother wouldn't let them keep a good secret.

Billy stood in his room
fearing the end of the Secret Society of Spies -
all of its members locked away forever.
And Billy wondered if everybody else
was envying the grasshopper,
who surely felt no pain.