April 7, 2117

In a unanimous decision, the Supreme Court ruled for the plaintiff in Lars Gundersenn v Everybody.  Lars’ great-great-great-great-great grandfather, “Spydyr” Gundersenn, had written a promotional song for his extermination business in the early 20th century.  The Justices agreed that Spydyr’s ditty was the inspiration for the classic children’s song “The Eensie Weensie Spider.”  They further ruled that “The Eensie Weensie Spider” was the inspiration behind the phrase “Surfing the web.”

As Spydyr’s only surviving heir, the Court ruled that Lars was therefore entitled to all profits made from the term “Surfing the web,” which meant that he was entitled to all profits ever made on the Internet, which, they concluded, was everything.

April 8, 2117

In Everybody v Lars Gundersenn, the Supreme Court unanimously ruled that owning everything was the same as owning nothing, which was exactly what Lars was entitled to.  They did, however, allow Lars to keep his trousers.