My fellow Neanderthals:

Never before has the future been so uncertain.  Never before has your vote mattered so much.  And never before have the differences between two candidates been so dramatic, and so obvious.

My esteemed opponent, Og, believes our future lies in technology.  He wants us all to live in caves.  He wants us all to have fire.  He believes our future depends on what he calls the “wheel.”  He wants us to be farmers, as if hunting and gathering weren’t good enough.  It was good enough for my ancestors, and it’s good enough for me!   Why, by Boomer, he would even have you believe there is no such thing as a Thunder God!  And if that weren’t enough, he wants to open up our Valley to all the Homosapiens coming in from the south.  We all know no good will ever come from that!

This I tell you:  There is only one way to restore our former glory.  There is only one way to save ourselves from the evil that is closing in all around us.  There is only one solution to all of our problems.  And that is to return to the trees.  A vote for me, is a vote for the trees!