St. Filbert is the patron
saint of woodchucks, marmots, badgers, and (in the UK) hedgehogs. In 1748, Henri Filbert (on-ree fil-bear), while trapping,
was viciously attacked by beavers. Badly mauled, the beavers left him to die. Filbert, feeling he had nothing
to lose, asked God for a miracle. The Lord was so inclined. Several woodchucks (also known as groundhogs) pulled
Filbert nearly 22 miles and left him on the doorsteps of a monastery, which Filbert took as a sign, especially since at least
five other settlements were closer. Filbert, after recovering from his wounds (though he now had no ears from the beaver
attack, and was missing seven toes after being dragged by the woodchucks), took the Orders and became a monk. He spent
the rest of his life preaching the Gospel to the animals of the forest, right up to the day he was eaten by a bear.
The bear, though, was converted, and though he wasn’t a regular church-goer, he never missed a Holy Day of Obligation.
And that’s two miracles. And that’s what it takes to be a saint. St. Filbert’s day is celebrated
thirteen days before the first full moon after Groundhog’s day. In 2021, it falls on February 14, which will be
celebrated with St. Valentine. St. Filbert’s day is traditionally spent indoors, safely barricaded away from all
wild animals.
Though
only conspiritorily connected with St. Filbert, Joseph of Arimathea, on his final trip to Damascus, was said to have received
a vision from God where the Lord spoke through a woodchuck, telling Joseph of Arimathea where to hide the Holy Grail for all eternity. It is said the goundhog even helped him dig the hole. The Vatican will neither confirm or deny
this story, only stating that they do not read unsolicited manuscripts. Understandably, that’s why, here at the
Holy Grail Press, we’re quite fond of woodchucks.*
* Woody “Chuck ‘Em” Womper currently holds the World Record for chucking 812 board feet of 2 X
4 rough cut timber in 60 seconds. Consumers should be advised that most woodchucks chuck considerably less.
