Tuesday, September 27, 2011
Octoboy!
Ms. Mary Ann Joblonski,
Science Editor for the Holy Grail Press, has taken on the task of researching a local phenomenon in the Puget Sound, that
of Octoboy. Octoboy is best described as a creature that has the body of an octopus, but the facial features of a human.
Octoboy was first reported
having been seen near Vashon Island in the spring of 2006. Since that time, there have been scores of sightings
throughout the Puget Sound, but they are mostly concentrated around the Greater Seattle area. Rumour has it that the Seattle Aquarium has offered
a one million dollar reward for anybody who can catch Octoboy, two million if you can bring him in alive. However,
the Seattle Aquarium flatly denies any such claim. Officially, they won’t even admit they’ve
ever heard of Octoboy. Ms. Joblonski wants it to be known that the promise of a reward has in no way influenced her decision to
research the existence of such a creature. For more information on Octoboy, check out the Features tab.
4:47 pm pdt
Thursday, September 1, 2011
Features! Mostly because we can, we now have a new main tab: Features. There you will find some of our most popular
topics, such as Senator Bullfinch's Open Letters, Lunatic Monologues, and the History of the Future.
8:38 pm pdt
The History of the Future The Sanity Shift It was the 2040 Census that verified, indeed, that there were
now more people in the Untied States who were clinically insane than those who were not. And it was in
2044 that the Supreme Court ruled that, by definition, “normal” was decided by the majority. Therefore,
what once was considered to be crazy, was now the norm, and those who once were considered sane should now be considered extremely
dangerous. Institutionalization was recommended. Speaking for the majority, Chief Justice
Bidwell stated, “Shut up! I’ll kill you all! What are you looking at?”
Few “insane” people were ever locked up, though, because they quickly went underground. After
all, it is a lot easier to pretend you’re yelling at somebody who isn’t there than to pretend you’re not.
They learned to indentify each other with secret signals, and would often meet clandestinely, so, as one member recalled,
“We could just sit around and be quiet without anybody yelling at us or trying to take away our socks.”
One of the things that the new majority insisted on doing was driving, which had long been a privilege of the sane.
By 2047, mostly because of all the people who had been run over, many of whom where indoors, it was determined that
those people who had recently been in the majority no longer were. And once again, the definition of “sane” was
revised to the pre-2040 status. See, as well, the Shift of 2088, 2129, 2173, and 2222.
7:29 pm pdt
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